You can't make a baby?

Did you know...there are places in the world where you couldn't swing a dead baby, without hitting another baby who is on the verge of death? Huh. Imagine that. Places where there are unwanted children, and you a person wanting a child, really, Really, REALLY bad. Wow. Who would have thunk? So lets see, you put two and two together and you find out that yes indeed there are plenty of children in the world who would really benefit from a good home, and plenty of people in the world who would really, Really, REALLY want to be parents. Wow! That's great!

Oh wait, you want your OWN child. One who is made from your genetic material. One who pops out of your (or your wife's) vagina. One who is a special combination of your and your partner's genetic material. Why? Why is that exactly? Because you could never love anything as much as something that is part of you? And this is something you are willing to admit? If so, if you are truly willing to admit that, then I think you are a horrible person who should never have the responsibility to care for ANYTHING ever again. Firstly, how on earth did you ever manage to exchange 'sacred vows' with someone who isn't, say, your sibling? Does your partner know of your true feelings for people who are not in your genetic line? I am guessing, if you and your partner are engaging in the expense, heartbreak and trials of IVF, they do not know this particular fact. Marriage, to me, indicates a certian level of intimacy, trust and (egads!) love. An understanding that yes, indeed, one day you may have to care for that person in come capacity beyond a handshake and "howdy do!". Then there is the question of relations who may have married into your genetic line, how do they feel when you say "I can't love you in any way, we aren't related genetically." I am sure that good Ol' Uncle Larry will continue to be as friendly and jovial as ever when you drop that particular bomb at the 4th of July picnic.

Seriously, people who want to be parents do so because they want to raise A PERSON to be a contributing member of society. Good parents want to do this, and good parents do their darndest to do this. Good parents don't care if that person is of their genetic material, adopted from another country, or the neighbor kid. Good parents are good parents because they will take the time, effort and worry to make sure the persons in their care turn out to be able to live to their full potential.

Think for a moment, are you taking the road to parenthood because want a person to dress up, who will totally be your friend forever, to take care of you in your old age, because everyone else does, because you were from a big family, or simply because you are curious about what your genes look like when combined with another's? If you've answered yes to any of these questions, for the love of God, Apple Pie and America, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. It's a fuck lot of work. It's miserable. Kodak moments are like 1% of life. You don't get to sleep for like 10 years. It's expensive. It's a lot of fucking work. It is physically and emotionally painful. Your life WILL change, and if you don't change it, you will get the stink eye when you take your child to ADULT venues. You will do a fucking lot of work, even if you slack off. It's messy and dirty and you won't get to have nice things for a long time. And what do you get from that? NOTHING. There is NO GUARANTEE that your child will LIKE YOU, will SHARE ANYTHING with you, or will take care of you in your old age. NONE!

Do you think I am maybe just a bitter old woman with bad childhood? Seriously, you couldn't be further from the truth. I was the only child, and only grandchild on BOTH sides of my family for most of my childhood. Every holiday, birthday and family visit was a Fehlabration! All the presents were for me, all the cake was for me, and all the attention was for me. YAY ME! I also know that if I wanted to do the work of parenting, I would be a parent. However, I am a lazy wimp. I have no fondness for either work or pain. Thusly, I have decided for my own good and for the good of society in general, that I would not go down the path of parenting...because it is a fucking lot of fucking work. Imagine that, reproductive organs, in perfect working order (I'll tell you about the thrills of gynocology another day) going to waste, simply because I decided that I would not want to do the work of parenting. Fancy that.