Why haven't you pushed something out your vagina to make me feel better about my life choices?

Well, for those couple readers who are interested, here are my answers to the 40 questions childfree people must constantly endure. Thanks to The Brit Girl.

1. Do you have children? No
   
2. Why not?I don't like that kind of work
   
3. Don’t you like children? I like returning children safely to their parents and going home without them.
   
4. When are you going to have children? Never.
   
5. Aren’t you leaving it too late? No, because I'm not having any.
   
6. When are you going to give me grandkids? (fortunately, my parents have only expressed interest in my life happiness, and never a mention of grandkids)
   
7. Why don’t you like children? They are loud, boring, messy, intrusive, painful, expensive, irritating, dull, tedious, annoying, gross...and a fuck lot of work that I have no desire to do.
   
8. Why are you so selfish? Why are you such an intrusive ass? Please enumerate the selfless reasons why you had children. Really, give me ONE SELFLESS reason why you had children.
   
9. Doesn’t your husband want children? He said he might kind of want children, I said "you won't get me AND children" and he said "I know the difference between want and need".
10. Who’s going to look after you (when you’re old, sick,) I don't believe in creating people for the sole purpose of possibly caring for me in my old age, seems kind of like slavery, which I am morally opposed to. Oh, and what's so selfless about creating someone to care for you?
    
11. Why aren’t you doing your bit for society? I work to prevent the spread of a devastating disease, I also work to help increase our communities access to free speech. I do not believe simply contributing extra people is doing anything positive for society.
    
12. Why don’t you want to be a mother? Because I do not like that kind of work, nor am I eager to change how I live my life. I like it as it is.
    
13. Why don’t you want to be a father? (I can not answer this one)
    
14. Isn’t that selfish? No, it isn't selfish you dolt.
    
15. Who’s going to pay for your pension? I believe I am...and your kids might pay my social security, but I doubt it. That said, who pays for your kids public schooling, the roads that their buses take, and the free lunch programs, and the kids insurance programs, and the after school enrichment programs? Me, with my higher tax rate. You can send me a thank you any time.
    
16. Who are you going to leave your shoes, house, clothes, worldly goods to? I do have other family members as well as many friends. Beyond that, what do I care what happens to my crap when I'm gone?
    
17. Aren’t you lonely? Nope, I know how to make friends and amuse myself.
    
18. Are you normal? Thankfully, no, I am not normal.
    
19. How can you not want kids? I have the maternal instinct of Patsy Stone, and know it is better for EVERYONE that I not have children I have no desire to raise. How can you want to force kids on me? Would you like me to "take a shot" at brain surgery too? Perhaps you can be my first.
20. Don’t you like yourself? Yes, but that doesn't mean I want to do the work of raising a child.
    
21. Do you hate parents? Parents are one reason why I don't want children, they really haven't done such a good job of being admirable role models lately, in my estimation. Personally, I'd rather not be FORCED to deal with such people. They have a creepy hive-mindedness that I don't cotton to.
    
22. What if your parent’s hadn’t had you? Then I wouldn't be here trying to validate my existence to you.
    
23. What’s wrong with you? Why are you an asshole?
    
24. What about women who can’t have children? What about 'em?
    
25. What else is there in life if you don’t have children? Work, free time, volunteering, free time, pets, fun, rock shows, friends, free time, family, free time, travel, expendable income, free time, quiet, fun, free time, roller derby, relative cleanliness, free time, girl drinks, free time, fun, and did I mention...slack?
    
26. Isn’t that what everyone does? How is merely doing what everyone else does without thinking of the consequences, selfless? Thanks Mom & Dad, for teaching me to think for myself. As I always answered to "What if everyone else jumped off a bridge? Would you follow?" , "I'd be at the bottom, taking pictures".
    
27. What’s life if you don’t have kids? Filled with the slack and privacy I require to keep from going insane. It's also fun.
    
28. What if everyone thought like you? Then only people who wanted to do the work of raising a child to be a productive human being would have one, there would be way FEWER abused and neglected children, and more people would be happier. Oh and our resources would be less stretched.
    
29. Did you have a bad childhood? I am quite lucky to have the childhood I had. I was raised to be and independent free thinker, and for this I am glad.
    
30. Don’t you want to make your mother/father grandparents? If they want more interaction with children, they are grown ups who can volunteer with children, mentor or be Big Brothers/Big Sisters. I am not keeping them from interacting with children.
    
31. Don’t you want a fambly family? I have a family, I have a husband, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins. I also have in-laws now.
    
32. What do you spend your money on? Uhhhh...DUH. Rent, bills, food, clothes, personal care items, cat food, fish food....then comes the fun....and savings.
    
33. What contribution have you made to society? See number 11. And please explain the contribution to society a parent who does nothing to ensure their child is a productive human who can interact with others is making. Thanks.
    
34. How can you deprive your husband of a child/children? He knew the deal going into it. I told him I wasn't expecting him to change his slackfilled ways, in all fairness, he shouldn't expect me to change mine. How could he deprive me of my sanity?
    
35. Why aren’t you fulfilling your nurturing role? For the same reason why I don't participate in group sex, or scatology, I just don't swing that way.
    
36. Don’t you want to have your own flesh and blood? Nope.
    
37. Don’t you want to experience being pregnant? Good christ NO.
    
38. Where’s your maternal instinct? I guess the ALMIGHTY didn't give me one. God don't make mistakes, you know.
    
39. How will you fill your life? I will alternate between activities and slack.
    
40. When are you going to Grow Up? I support myself, I do not expect hand outs or help to subsidize my chosen life style. By all standards of measurement that matter to me, I am an adult.