Boomerbummerfucker.....

So, if you haven't figured out, it's the 40th anniversary of the "Summer of Love", so get out your tie-dyed shirt (purchased 1991), patched bellbottoms (purchased 2002) or hippy skirt (purchased 1989) and feel the groovy love vibrations maaaaannnn...because the mayor of San Francisco has issued a proclamation and there's going to be a free concert in Golden Gate Park and everyone will get together, hug, and change the world all over again. At least that's what the organizers of the concert say. And I call Bull Shit.

First, let me quote a few bits of their "proclamation",
"Then one summer it happened! "We Were Everywhere". The pureness of thought exploded exponentially and there were millions of us. The event, this historical moment which included most of 1967, became known as the "Summer of Love""
Great. Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back or anything, but good job on recognizing that there were other people like you...and good job to the media for pointing it out to you.

"During this period the Peace Movement was born with the Human Be-Ins in San Francisco and the Love-Ins in New York.(um no, there've been pacifists being thrown in jail since at least WW1) Anti-war demonstrations occured everywhere and college campuses erupted with thousands of people refusing the draft (in all acuality they were anti-draft demonstrations - but eventually non-students joined in) This startled the government (for the last time)presidents were impeached (well, president), wars were stopped (eventually), and an entire generation stood up and said "Hell No"" (except Bush, Cheney, and all the current fucktards in this adminstration who went to college then too)

"Social change was occuring and continued on multiple levals. Out of this orderly chaos came the "Movements": The Free Speech Movement (so I can say fuck on an adult radio show?), Free Love Movement (oh, prostitution is legal?), the Farm Workers Movement (its so easy & safe now!), the Women's Movement (but no abortions, girls), the Gay Rights Movement (unless you want to be married), the Environmental Movement (yay! global warming!), the Ecology Movement (doesn't this fit in the environment or visa versa?), the Animal Rights Movement (terrorists!), the Sexual Revolution (but no condoms in schools or prisons!), the Spritual Movement (as an athiest I am unqualified to comment on this one), the Student Movement (yeah, that went far), the Civil Rights Movement (which started in 1955), and the Anti-War Movement (see above)."

"The message was clear the world was uniting behind one pricipal and thought - LOVE! and its affirmation of PEACE, COMPASSION, and UNDERSTANDING. The word was brought forth by musicians such as Peter Paul and Mary, The Mamas and Papas, Donovan, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, the Grateful Dead and Jefferson Airplane and then carried on by many of the English Musicians like Eric Clapton (histories greatest monster - but more on that in another post), the Beatles (didn't the Beatles come along pretty early?) and Rolling Stones.(Wasn't Donovan English?)

Because of this free thinking environment (wasn't Dylan booed for his experimentation?) a renassance of gifted genius' occurred with the likes of John Coltrane(?), Miles Davis(?), Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison (oh I barfed in my mouth a little). New concepts and inventions touched every segment of society. The transistor, the calculator, the computer and the internet all had their inception in the 1960's(yeah, thanks to the unmentioned LSD - I forgot, drugs are bad). A whole new creative sector of the economy developed within, took hold and became Silicone Valley. (awesome!) The international community was in awe (I guess humility wasn't big in the 60's)of this explosion of creativity, even Olympic athletes showed their solidarity by uniting with the winds of change (or realised that black people are just that, people). All this started with a simple word, a simple thought - LOVE! and a generation of free thinking people willing to stand up and be counted and their willingness to be different." ORLY?

Well, let me just brush the vomit taste out of my mouth....aaaahhhh minty fresh!

So, Really?Nothing good has happened since 1967, no good art, music, movements or anything, eh? Nothing continued forward, ended or changed since 1967, which is, according to the Boomers, the pinnacle of human acheivement. Thanks, I've had that line of crap shoved up my ass for about 30 years now and as far as I can tell, 1967 was the START of the FUCKERY that is TODAY. But hey, keep telling the world how great you and yours were, and the sheeple will nod their heads in agreement, because they weren't there and they don't know any better.

You know what's better than going forward? Spinningyour wheels in your glorious past, which had NOTHING to do with the future. Oh no, what really must have happend was in 1967 everyone was happy and free for a couple years, and then everyone was replaced by greedy, pre-yuppie pod people whose only god is Money. Yeah, that must be it, certianly those beautiful people with flowers in their hair wouldn't sell out their glorious vision of the future and their children for a little bit of filthy lucre, right?

WRONG! I'm here as a maligned member of Generation X to say "thanks a fucking lot for fucking nothing." You had the world, you had the vision, and you had just about everyone behind you. Instead, you discovered coke, suits, money, designers, fashion, cars and more money and just shoved your collective turgid member up the ass of the rest of the world...for money...without even the courtisy of spitting on it first. Sold out your kids, grandkids and everyone after them. Fucked the "third world" royally in your hunt for the almighty profit margin. Screwed the environment and locally owned business with your predatory business models...but Hey Dennis Hopper has a great retirement plan for you! Because you're the BEST generation, you discovered EVERYTHING, and were the BIGGEST revolutionaries in the whole history of the world and you deserve LOVE from everyone who isn't you.

Kid's birthday update...and thoughts on friendship.

Seriously, I am dumb. I thought for sure that I could go to a birthday party for a friends 3 year old because I was positive that it was actually an adult party with an awesome race car cake and as a result the adult guests would be acting like...ADULTS, like me. Wrong! But more about that later...first, the review:

The children were remarkably well behaved. The food was awesome, and adult!! Sushi and delicious salads, with not a chicken finger in sight! I felt I was remarkably tolerant and helpful (ooh, my arm hurts from patting myself on the back). In an fuzzy alcohol buzz, I even offered to wrangle toddlers so their parents could eat sitting down, which is always fun. I like kids well enough, it just bugs me that people have them without thinking about all the work that should be done.

For some reason, that just opened the bingo floodgates from an unexpected source, a friend who has no children, is single and whose life is consumed by a corporate job where she is currently training people to train the overseas workers who will be replacing them. I'd add here I've never told her my thoughts on how evil and inhuman I feel her current assignment is, and she knows exactly how I feel about children. It's why she's the babysitter for this kid while I'm out seeing bands in bars with the kids parents.
"Pretty soon you guys will be doing this"
"no"
"Oh, you'll change your mind"
"Doubtful"
"I bet"
"No, seriously, I won't because I know if I do I'll end up dead or in a mental hospital."

But a special surprise from the parents of the kid whose birthday it was, I received only understanding and thanks.
"You were great with the kids"
"No worries, they were cool"
"Well, you kept them busy, and out of trouble"
"No problems, thanks for hosting this fantastic party"
"You're welcome. It's always good to give them back isn't it?"
"Yes indeed it is!"

To be honest, I know I would make a good parent, I enjoy teaching and I have alot of patience and knowledge about what kids need. However, as someone who has thought alot about this topic, I know I would also be a shitty parent because my anxiety would cause me to worry myself into a mental institution, if I had to it alone for any reason the depression would cause me to kill myself, and I would have to give up everything I enjoy to home school because I believe the only thing schools do now is destroy individuality and strangeness. Oh, and I have no hope for the future getting any better, so the guilt of bringing another human into that situation would destroy me. Camps folks...camps is where we're all headed.

What I do intensly dislike is people assuming I don't know my own mind at my advanced age. In the above mentioned group of friends, I am one of the older ones by at least a couple years and they know full well my lifestyle, opinions and habits. I consider their assertations that I will "change my mind" to be quite condesending and disrespectful. Certianly not how friends treat eachother in my world, which is why I guess I consider this group of folks not actually "my" friends. They went to college with my betrothed, moved here around the same time he did, and well...I've just always thought of them as "his" friends. In my world, with my friends (who are generally older than me), when someone makes a statement about their personal choices to me, if I don't agree I try to say "Well that's your choice, I respect it" and shut up about it, unless I feel they're being dangerously unsafe in which case I'll try to help them figure out how to be safer (if they want to stop, that's their decision). I feel it's the adult thing to do with other adults who are free to make their own choices in life. Apparently when you are engaged to be married, in the upper decks of 30 and are at a children's party where most of the guests are a couple years younger than you, all bets are off.

Needless to say, I am both giddy and dreading the upcoming nuptuals. From all I've seen, that becomes an invitation for a free dinner, some dancing, and to delve into the personal lives of the newlyweds. Should that life not fit the LifeScript(tm) of corporate job, marriage, house, kids, minivan, disney world and all that happy crappy, then they whip out the conversion techniques and bingos. I always get into it with my bethrothed as I tend to not just let sleeping dogs lie in terms of my
(un)reproductive choices, and he says I could just say "no" and leave it at that. The problem is, that when I do say "no" they say "oh you'll change your mind" and then I get pissed and let them know the most horrifying possibilites I can fathom as a result in a vain attempt to Shut Them Up on the topic For Good.

Oh well...at least I'm on the right track for a pattern for the wedding dress...and no it's not going to be WHITE and no it's not going to be strapless and no it's not going to be an "I'm the princess" taffeta and satin nightmare that costs as much as my car. Fuck all that bullshit!

Hoi Hoi!

Tonight, Father Angus is at the helm, B.S. is throwing some CDs on the broilers, and Reverend Velveteen is gettin' shit done.

Nick Drake - Time Has Told Me - Family Ties
Alexander Spence - War In Peace - Oar
Brian Jonestown Massacre - Nevertheless - Tepid Peppermint Wonderland
The Beatles - Cry Baby Cry - The White Album
The Black Lips - Sea of Blasphemy - Los Valientes del Mundo Nuevo
David Bowie - African Night Flight - Lodger
Jimi Hendrix - Foxey Lady - Live at Berkeley
Ofo & The Black Company - Allah Wakbar - Love's a Real Thing
Jethro Tull - Song for Jeffrey - This Was
Psychic TV w/ Timothy Leary - Thee Politics of Ecstasy - DJ Megatrip Pure Acid
Dungen - Et Skal Att Trivas - Tio Bitar

New Disks at Nine:
Boris w/Michio Kurihara - tracks 3, 7, 8 - Rainbow
Bruce Haack - tracks 3, 6, 8 - The Electric Lucifer
Nobody - All the Shallow Deep - From LA with Love
Madlib's Sound Directions - Wildflower - From LA with Love
Adventure Time - This Dome Is Our Home - From LA with Love

Frank Zappa - Peaches en Regalia - Hot Rats
Queen - Ogre Battle - Command Performance
HOS # 1105

But...I don't wanna be a part of the child's life

It's hot, I've been reading childfree blogs, it's humid, and I'm whiny...did I mention it's both hot AND humid? It is, and I hate it.

I mention I've been reading childfree blogs, because they've gotten me thinking about an invitation I received a child's birthday party. The invite, of course, includes the usual information about location, time and assures people that there will be snacks and beverages for children AND adults. Fine, I am down with that. The people hosting the party are both great cooks and generous hosts. I like them alot, they are cool people and actually work to be good parents. What puts me off is that the parents (in a hope of getting me to go?I haven't been to any of the other parties for this kid) added in the note with the invite, "We'd really like you to come because you are a part of so-and-so's life". Whaaaaa? I see this kid, like maybe 3 times a year, and we live in the same town! When I have seen him, it always starts out with screaming because I am essentially a stranger, then I try to make myself scarce to avoid prevoking any more horrible shrieking while the child observes me from a safe spot behind a parental unit and maybe in the last 10 minutes before one of us has to leave we'll play some peek-a-boo. I certianly do not consider myself a part of his life, and if he were more sentient, I doubt he'd count me as part of his life either. He is the kid I experienced vacation with last year, and you can find and read that post to how I felt about that particular experience. (I no longer have to worry about birth control as it caused my ovaries to climb right out my cooter and throw themselves into the fire) I may have babysat for them once, the kid was asleep in his room with the door closed and stayed that way until his parents came home, so for all I know I was just sitting in my friend's home, eating their food and using their electricity.

I am sure their stated desire to have me at the party because I am perceived to be a part of this kid's life is probably just an oddly worded attempt to try to make me feel welcome in a group of people who I have little in common with (they're actually my boyfriend's friends more than mine). It just puts me off because I don't want to be part of any child's life more than a casual, funny and occasionally drunk aquaintance, and it shows that either they don't know (or care?) how strongly I feel about that, or that they think I will one day have a child and be more "in the group" so to speak. I can sit in a house with a sleeping child and make sure that if were to start on fire the kid would get out, or if it were to wake up I can let it know that it's parents will be home soon. Beyond that, I want no more because I am a lush. Kids like drunks, however drunks do not do a good job of raising kids. I like being around kids when I'm drunk, because that is when I am at my most stupid and patient. I am pretty much at their level. However, if momma needs her medicine to be momma, maybe momma shouldn't become a momma in the first place, you dig?

Of course, I still don't want to go. I do not like groups of children of any age. This party is guaren-fucking-teed to have at least 5 toddlers, a couple infants and maybe a few surly 4-10 year olds, complete with screaming, tantrums, shrieking, mineMineMINE and maybe jumping on drunk ol' Feh and spilling her drink. I was an only child with a few very close friends, and school for me was a nightmarish "Lord of the Flies" hell of social engineering, cliquedom and fake cool that just cemented the idea that grouping children together is a bad thing. Basically since I got out of school, I've managed to only be in the position to be with a group of children once, and that was at Chuck E Cheeze, and it made me want saw at my jugular with a plastic knife for as many hours as it would take to end my life. And there will be parents there, and they will talk about...parenting, and children, and raising their children, and how wonderful/difficult it is, and the children, and being parents, and child rearing, and..........sorry, I nodded off for a moment. If I'm lucky, I will also get asked when I am having a child, because I should have one, becuase I'm getting married in almost a year (I hate the word fiancee, so he will be my boyfriend until he is my husband) and that's what happens when heterosexual people marry. Then I have to say that I will never have children and endure the "pity look" for being sterile (which I am not) or the "you'll change your mind" b.s. that gets fed to everyone who makes public their decision not to procreate. If I'm smart,however, I will get obviously (though not inappropriately) tipsy, and people will keep their damn mouths shut about my reproductive status because no one wants to put the idea of raising a child in the mind of a drunk. Oh, alcohol, is there anything you CAN'T do?

But, I will put on my funny face, party dress and go, because I do like the hosts and would never miss out on a chance to eat their amazing appetizers. I'll have a few girl drinks, let the kids jump on me, tell them about eye balls, boogers and farts, and show them how the best mud pies are made (hint: it involves getting our party clothes dirty!) and have their parents hate me because I am fun and never have to say NO. Then the dirty, sugar addled kids go back to their parents, and my dear betrothed will drive us home where we can take our pants off and relax in wonderful, glorious silence.

Postal views

Today I have reached four hundred and twenty profile views.
Time for a celebration...in my pants.

Oh yeah, and this lady is my new favorite blogger...right on, Right On! She may have gotten the idea from me, but she actualized it in a much more wonderful, hilarious and less angry way than I ever could have.

You can't make a baby?

Did you know...there are places in the world where you couldn't swing a dead baby, without hitting another baby who is on the verge of death? Huh. Imagine that. Places where there are unwanted children, and you a person wanting a child, really, Really, REALLY bad. Wow. Who would have thunk? So lets see, you put two and two together and you find out that yes indeed there are plenty of children in the world who would really benefit from a good home, and plenty of people in the world who would really, Really, REALLY want to be parents. Wow! That's great!

Oh wait, you want your OWN child. One who is made from your genetic material. One who pops out of your (or your wife's) vagina. One who is a special combination of your and your partner's genetic material. Why? Why is that exactly? Because you could never love anything as much as something that is part of you? And this is something you are willing to admit? If so, if you are truly willing to admit that, then I think you are a horrible person who should never have the responsibility to care for ANYTHING ever again. Firstly, how on earth did you ever manage to exchange 'sacred vows' with someone who isn't, say, your sibling? Does your partner know of your true feelings for people who are not in your genetic line? I am guessing, if you and your partner are engaging in the expense, heartbreak and trials of IVF, they do not know this particular fact. Marriage, to me, indicates a certian level of intimacy, trust and (egads!) love. An understanding that yes, indeed, one day you may have to care for that person in come capacity beyond a handshake and "howdy do!". Then there is the question of relations who may have married into your genetic line, how do they feel when you say "I can't love you in any way, we aren't related genetically." I am sure that good Ol' Uncle Larry will continue to be as friendly and jovial as ever when you drop that particular bomb at the 4th of July picnic.

Seriously, people who want to be parents do so because they want to raise A PERSON to be a contributing member of society. Good parents want to do this, and good parents do their darndest to do this. Good parents don't care if that person is of their genetic material, adopted from another country, or the neighbor kid. Good parents are good parents because they will take the time, effort and worry to make sure the persons in their care turn out to be able to live to their full potential.

Think for a moment, are you taking the road to parenthood because want a person to dress up, who will totally be your friend forever, to take care of you in your old age, because everyone else does, because you were from a big family, or simply because you are curious about what your genes look like when combined with another's? If you've answered yes to any of these questions, for the love of God, Apple Pie and America, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. It's a fuck lot of work. It's miserable. Kodak moments are like 1% of life. You don't get to sleep for like 10 years. It's expensive. It's a lot of fucking work. It is physically and emotionally painful. Your life WILL change, and if you don't change it, you will get the stink eye when you take your child to ADULT venues. You will do a fucking lot of work, even if you slack off. It's messy and dirty and you won't get to have nice things for a long time. And what do you get from that? NOTHING. There is NO GUARANTEE that your child will LIKE YOU, will SHARE ANYTHING with you, or will take care of you in your old age. NONE!

Do you think I am maybe just a bitter old woman with bad childhood? Seriously, you couldn't be further from the truth. I was the only child, and only grandchild on BOTH sides of my family for most of my childhood. Every holiday, birthday and family visit was a Fehlabration! All the presents were for me, all the cake was for me, and all the attention was for me. YAY ME! I also know that if I wanted to do the work of parenting, I would be a parent. However, I am a lazy wimp. I have no fondness for either work or pain. Thusly, I have decided for my own good and for the good of society in general, that I would not go down the path of parenting...because it is a fucking lot of fucking work. Imagine that, reproductive organs, in perfect working order (I'll tell you about the thrills of gynocology another day) going to waste, simply because I decided that I would not want to do the work of parenting. Fancy that.

Fuck Paris Hilton

Fuck her right in the eye, seriously. Apparently certian "people" (I'm using that term loosely as I don't believe anyone who looks up to Paris and her ilk could actually be considered people) have started a petition to try to get Paris from realizing the consequences of her actions.
The petition reads: "Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives."

Apparently these "people" think she deserves respect and lenience simply because she's a socalite and heiress? What sorts of spineless money worshipping assholes are these? Have they never actually known a real person who has to EARN both money and respect? Have they never had to do that themselves? Is there some sort of drug, or medical procedure, that one can engage in to actually acheive this sort of break from reality? If so, sign (oh wait...sihn) me up! I love both money AND respect, but hate the concept of work! Now that I think about it, Paris Hilton may indeed by the next incarnation of "Bob"...oh wait, I give her too much credit. I don't think she can actually sell anyone anything, except maybe the joy of untreated syphillis. And what good does this bag of shit wrapped in skin ACTUALLY do society? Does she have ANY skills whatsoever beyond shoving things up or in her various orifices? Can she make a sandwich, finger painting or even wipe her own ass? All logic points to "no". Has she ever actually helped anyone through her own actions, or even by directing the actions of others? Again, I'm going to have to go with "no" on that one.

Oh wait, there it is, right in the petition itself. Thanks for reminding me! She "provides hope" and "beauty and excitement"? Really, hope? For what? Hope that when you die, you will be reincarnated as the heir to a vast fortune? Hope that you can be famous simply for being a notorious fuck hole who some how has managed to not get caught shitting themselves in public? "Beauty"? I guess, if you can call something maintained by cocaine, redbull, a legion of hair dressers, make up artists, plastic surgeons and bulemia "beautiful". But to be honest shouldn't a person have to have some sort of engaging life essence or possibly a "soul" to be considered beautiful? Probably not to assholes, they like their fish dead and cold. "Excitement"? I guess, if you're driving in the same region that her booze and drug addled unliscensed ass is going 45+ miles over the speed limit, some might consider the fear rush of death via vehicular manslaughter by celebutard to be exciting. Me? I consider it the potential for at least a totaled car and at worst a miserable and worthless death. But then again, I'M CRAZY!

Whoopsie...I've had the list for a while...

On May Day, the lovely Ms. Jenni went on strike. Since I'm an airtime grubbing scab, I stepped in to fill her beautiful, beautiful shoes.
Here is my playlist for the PsychoPrint Lounge 5-1-07

Pulp - Common People - Different Class
Beck - Soul Sucking Jerk - Mellow Gold
C.W. McCall - Convoy - single
Tom Heinl - Half Day Vacation - Sing Along With...
Killdozer - The Pig Was Cool - Uncompromising War on Art Under the Dictatorship of the Proletariat
The Fall - Boxoctosis - The Real New Fall LP
Bellrays - Revolution Get Down - The Red, White & Black
The Wh0 - A Quick One, While He's Away - Live at Leeds
MC5 - Ramblin' Rose - The Best Of...
Electric 6 - I Buy The Drugs - Switzerland
Andre Williams - Rib Tips - single
Bob & Gene - Your Name - If This World Were Mine
ElVez - Mexican Radio - Graciasland
Lenny Bruce - Would You Sell Out Your Country? - To is a Preposition; Come is a Verb
Clinic - Gideon - Visitations
Zutons - Pressure Point - Who Killed The...
Bongwater - Talent Is A Vampire - Too Much Sleep
Dick Dale - The Eliminator - Spatial Disorientation
Noisettes - Don't Give Up - Mojo Made In Britan 2007
Eugene Mirman - Track 5 - Engarde Society
Grinderman - Get It On - s/t
Buck 65 - Centaur - This Right Here Is...
Jarvis Cocker - I Will Kill Again - Jarvis
Andrew Bird - Dark Matter - Armchair Apocrypha
Faghat - Faghat Land - The Future
Flaming Lips - The Gash - Soft Bulletin
Blues Magoos - Life Is Just A Cher'o'Bowlies - The Best Of...
Elton Motello - Jet Boy Jet Girl - A Date With John Waters
Sandy Belle - The Red, White & Blue - youtube.com
Devo - Come Back Jonee - Are We Not Men? We Are Devo!
The Mummies - (Doin') The Kirk - Death By Unga-Bunga
The Mummies - Babba Diddy Baby - Death By Unga-Bunga
Black Lips - Stranger - Los Valientes Del Mundo Nuevo
Blues Explosion - Hot Gossip - Damage
!!! - Infinifold - Myth Takes
Skeletons & The Kings Of All Cities - Fake Tits - Lucas
Spiritualized - Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space - Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space

My favorite parts of "Assassination Vacation"

I love you Sarah Vowell. You are awesome in a geeky, "I like knowing things" sort of way. I think it's great that you would orchestrate vacation times around visiting places of note for presidential assassinations. I'm jealous I didn't think of it myself.

Anyway these are the parts of your book that I want to remember verbatim ...
"Until that moment, I hadn't realized that I embarked on the project of touring historic sites and monuments having to do with teh assassinations of Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley right around the time my country iffily went to war, which is to say right around the time my resentment of the current president cranked up into contempt. Not that I want the current president killed. Like that director, I will, for the record (and for the FBI agent assigned to read this and make sure I mean no harm - hello there), clearly state that while I am obsessed with death, I am against it.
Like director Tim Douglas, my simmering rage against the current president scares me. I am a more or less peaceful happy person whose lone act of violence as an adult was shoving a guy who spilled beer on me at a Sleater-Kinney concert. So if I can summon this much bitterness toward a presidential human being, I can sort of, kind of see how this amount of bile, or more, teaming up with disappointment, unemployment, delusions of grandeur and mental illness, could prompt a crazier narcissistic creep to buy one of this country's widely available handguns. Not that I, I repeat, condone that. Like Lincoln, I would like to believe the ballot is stronger than the bullet. Then again, he said that before he got shot.
I am only slightly less astonished by the egotism of the assassins, the inflated self-esteem it requires to kill a president, than I am astonished by the men who run for president. These are people who have the gall to believe they can fix us -- us and oure deficit, our fossil fuels, our racisim, poverty, potholes and public schools. The egomania required to be president or a presidential assassin makes the two types brothers of sorts. Presidents and presidential assassins are like Las Vegas and Salt Lake City that way. Even though one city is all about sin and the other is all about salvation, they are identical, one-dimensional company towns bult up out of the desert by the sheer will of true believers. The assassins and the presidents invite the same basic question: Just who do you think you are?"

From Edwin Markham's poem "Lincoln, Man of the People"
As when a lordly cedar, green with boughs,
Goes down with a great shout upon the hills,
And leaves a lonesome place against the sky.

From Garfield's commencement address at Hiram College 1880
It has occured to me that the thing you have, that all men have enough of, is perhaps the thing that you care for the least, and that is your leisure -- the leisure you have to think; the leisure you have to be let alone; the leisure you have to throw the plummet into your mind, and sound the depth and dive for things below.

From Louis Sullivan's 1924 autobiography
In a land declaring its fervid democracy, its inventiveness, its resourcefulness, its unique daring, enterprise and progress th;us did the virus of a culture, snobbish and alien to the lan, perform its work of disintigration; and thus ever works the pallid academic mind, denying the real, exalting the fictitious and the false, incapable of adjusting itself to the flow of living things, to the reality and the pahtos of man's follies, to the valiant hope that ever causes him to aspire, and again to aspire; that never lifts a hand in aid because it cannot... when what the world needs is courage, common sense and human sympathy, and a moral standard that is plain, valid and livable.

There were more, but the bookmarkers got mixed up.

Are you sensitive?

Well SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU RIGHT TO THE GODDAMNED WALL!
Now, when you're done crying, come back and I'll give you an extra set of balls, or a spine, FREE!

Seriously, I co-host a music basedradio show with a couple of maniacs. Generally we play really good music, played by musicians who do not care what the "top sellers" are doing, how "the hits" are made or anything like that. We also generally tend towards music that deals with topical or challenging subjects. Sometimes humor, in the form of satire, is involved. It is clearly for adults, and we do what we can to have the most adult content that the FCC will allow us. So there's the set up.

Last night we played a song at the end of our show called by a group called Evening Service called "The Bible Says", off an album called Love Gods Way. As of this writing, I am still unsure if these fellows seriously believe that "God...Haaates...Faags" , or because of such lines as "get down on your knees before jesus" if they are very clever satirists. Either way, it's a hilariously awful song (which confirms the fact that all acoustic guitars and pianos should be thrown on my heap of burning saxaphones), and when paired with our commentary was a wonderfully enlightening musical experience for most of our listeners. Unfortunatly, when the cohost who is employed by the station came in this morning, she saw a message in the station log from a listener who had called in (almost 12 hours later) to complain that she and a gay friend had heard the song and it reduced him "to tears".

Here is my response, which has been added to the station log:

"I don't want to be the a-hole, but really...in tears? from a song? a song that was clearly discussed for it's satirical properties for several minutes before we aired it? Did they turn it on and then off again in the middle, or what?
While it is up to the on-air people at WORT to fit their content into the community standard, it is also up to listeners to realize that while using to any sort of media, they may indeed come across view points that they may find objectionable or troublesome. I do not think we did anything wrong, nor do I feel that we needed to do more in terms of discussing or pairing "objectionable" content with more obvious, or palatable, content (when time is available, we generally pair up challenging content with more obvious content anyway). Like you said, anyone can turn on the radio at any time. No matter what we did, they very well could have turned it on and off during the "god hates fags" chorus and had the same issue. We made it perfectly clear the reasons why we were playing the song, and what we felt about it. Just like I do not believe that content should be monitored "for the children", I also do not believe that content should be monitored for the "extra sensitive" or "less humored". Playing to the lowest common denominator is what has made a majority of media the vast wasteland of willful ignorance it is today
I have taken to "self censorship" as a result of past audience response. I no longer play "Jewish Princess" by Zappa due to the fact that the last time I played it while subbing (7 years ago or more) I did receive 3 calls during the show from women who didn't like the stereotypical basis of the song. They each provided well thought out arguments as to why they felt the song was not, lets say "WORT worthy", and allowed me a chance to explain why I thought it was. However, upon further thought, I did make the decision to never play that song again and try to avoid outright mockery of large groups of people through the use of stereotypes. Speaking as a person who works with a wide variety of gay men on a daily basis, I'd just say that most of my coworkers, gay and straight, were exposed to the song when Father Angus first sent out the link a couple days ago without any sort of introduction beyond "check these guys out", and managed to somehow not end up in tears. "

Seriously, if a song drives you to tears, call the dammned station A.S.A.P. to discuss it with the people who aired it! Don't call the station almost a half a day later to "tattle" on the "naughty night dj's". Also, if you are so sensitive that a smarmy-ass song with the chorus of "god hates fags" drives you to tears, then for godsakes, why the hell are you listening to a fucking ADULT radio show?! Please continue to listen to things that won't make you cry, OR THINK, like Wobbles, Yanni or growing grass.

You know what I hate most about republicans and christians?

They never fucking stop whining. Wahhh waaaaahhh waaah! Gays exist!! Rap has swears!!! Christian Jesusford can't pray in school!!! Evolution scares me!!! Terrorists ate my baby!!!!!!! THEY have ALL the FUCKING POWER. They control the presidency, the congress, the senate, the judicial branch AND the media and they still have the balls to lie there like clubbed seals and look up at us with their big brown eyes and say "Why...why you gotta hate like that? Why you gotta ruin everything???? WHY???" and I just want to grab it by the neck and shake it and say. "shut up...Shut Up...SHUTUP YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING YOU DON"T GET TO COMPLAIN!!! PUT ON YOUR FUCKING BROWN SHIRT AND JACK BOOTS AND JUST BE THE FUCKING NAZI YOU REALLY WANT TO BE!!!" because when you have all the fucking power, you are supposed to at least have THE FUCKING BALLS TO LET PEOPLE KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY ARE. Don't hide it behind mom, apple pie, ponies, babies and fuzzy sweaters...don't go fucking around with stuff that benefits even your hateful asses, like science...don't pretend you like brown people, gays, women, small business people, the poor, bicyclers, people who listen to music, books or free thinkers to keep them deluded into thinking you are a rational and caring human....just externalize your inner nazi in whatever way you see fit. Then, maybe, just maybe, people would put down their ipods, cell phones, big sequined purses, fashonably small dogs, credit cards and whatever bullshit is keeping them from rioting in the streets, and actually get up and riot in the fucking streets for the real fucking America that makes cool shit, helps, and lets its own people do pretty much what they want as long as they're not hurting others.

I am away

I am away right now, "enjoying" summer. Lots of fun, lots of bleah...
Fun?
Cabin mania '06. I'm pretty much the mistress of the fire.
Flaming Lips and Primus pretty much playing just for me and Rickster outdoors.
WEEEEN! (lets hope "sobriety" is going well for Gene)
Las Vegas is my own personal Mecca, now I get to visit it for...
URSULAS WEDDING! Damn. She's almost all growed up.

Bleah?
Heat.
Humidity.
Packing.
Heat.
Humidity.
Moving.
Heat.
Humidity.
Oh, and did I mention the heat? Because it fucking sucks balls here, and not in a good way.

Well, back to moving, heat and humidity.

Bad Sister takes over the Leopard Print Lounge

I can't trash the place, she made me leave a deposit...if you know what I mean. HAR HAR! Anyway, I am subbing again for the lovely Ms. Jenni for some hot, leopard action!
Cursing, drinking, swearing, smoking, cussing, playing pool, bad language and stickin' it to The Man! Gosh, I love the 11pm till 2am slot.

Killer Pussy - Pocket Pool - Valley Girl soundtrack
Petra Haden - Maryanne With The Shaky Hand - Sings: The Who Sell Out
Screaming Cyn Cyn and the Pons - Lonely Creepy - Babysit
Peaches - Rock The Shocker - Impeach My Bush
Wet Spots - Kinky Neighbors - Ribbed for Pleasure
Tom Heinl - Half Day Vacation - With or Without Me
The Neil Pollack Invasion - Memories of Times Square (the dildo song) - Never Mind The Pollacks
Evolution Control Committe - Parts 4 & 5 - Ritalin Ruckus
Lovecraft Technologies - Larceny - S/T
The Kinks - Yes Sir, No Sir - Authur or The Decline and Fall of the British Empire
Pulp - Sorted for E's and Wizz - Different Class
Faghat - Faghat Land - The Future is Coming
Shaw - Sluts On Parade - Under The Radar: Vol. 1
Beatallica - ...And Justice For All My Lovin' - S/T
Lenny Bruce - Blah Blah Blah - To Is a Preposition; Come Is A Verb
Lenny Bruce - Would You Sell Out Your Country? - To Is A Preposition; Come Is A Verb
Aniv De La Rev - El Dishwashero - The Lost Months
Ween - THe Grobe - White Pepper
Sleater-Kinney - Let's Call It Love - The Woods
Sonic Youth - Rats - Rather Ripped
Spinal Tap - Hell Hole - S/T
King Missile - Jesus Was Way Cool (live) - My Heart Is A Flower (single)
King Missile III - America Kicks Ass - Royal Lunch
Subtle - The Long Vein Of The Law - A New White
Peeping Tom - Don't Even Trip - S/T
Yohimbe Brothers - Transmission XXX - Front End Lifter
Girl Talk - Bang This In The Club - Unstoppable
The Fall - What About Us? - Fall Heads Roll
Peelander-Z - Detroit Rock City - P-Bone Steak
Eagles of Death Metal - Chase The Devil - Death By Sexy
Coachwhips - You Gonna Get It - Bangers Vs. Fuckers
MC5 - I Just Don't Know - Turds On A Bum Ride: Vol. 1
Lovely Feathers - In The Valley - Hind Hind Legs
!!! - Pardon My Freedom -Louden Up Now
Puffy Ami Yumi - Go Baby Power Now - Splurge
Little Ritchie Ray - Hummp-a-baby - A Dirty Shame sntrk.
The Loafers - Crazy Talk - The Complete, Insane, Madness Invasion
Porest - Skin Bitch - Prude Juice For The Heritage Swinger
Porest - Fist Dumplings - Prude Juice For The Heritage Swinger
TV On The Radio - Bomb Yourself - Desperate Youth, Bloodthirsty Babes
Butthole Surfers - Hey - PCPPEP
Math - Elrod's Babydoll Mambo - Basic
Alien Sex Fiend - 30 Second Coma - Acid Bath

Children, they are not fun

I have not blogged here in a looooong while, obviously. I did just get back from a glorious week long vacation, well actually a glorious 4 day long vacation. The first 3 days involved a 2 year old child, which was not so glorious, relaxing or fun. Honest.

Here are some things I learned about 2 year old children and parenting. Amazingly enough, none involve relaxation.
1. A two year old has one reaction. It involves screaming. Happy? Screaming. Milk the wrong temp? Screaming. Hungry? Screaming. Dirty diaper? Screaming. Wanna play? Screaming. Seriously, I do not know how the parents figured out what the kid wanted, but whenever the tone of the screaming changed, they'd go through a list of questions, and I guess would determine the solution to problem by a subtle shift in the tone of their child's screams.

2. Two seems to be pretty much the age when parents give up. I think it's because of the screaming. I remember right around when the child was born, the parents were very conscious...no TV, ever, it will stunt the child's mind. No sugar or processed foods, it will destroy the child's health. A million outfits, we'll have a clean child. During the 3 days we were together, the child had several videos to watch, which he'd seen so many times he could pretty much scream right along with them. He ate 3 full sized hershey's bars, or at least some part of them, which helped with the screaming. However, he was allowed to wear many dirty and wet outfits, which should be the norm on all vacations, I do not begrudge his parents that.

3. Having children is wasteful. They will not finish the food they are given, they'll get distracted, full or start screaming about it. You will probably have to throw it away because they will have finger-banged it to death, thrown it on the floor or smeared it on something or someone, themselves included. I do not know how a child consumes enough to grow, but from what I've seen it involves constantly encouraging the child to eat a bite, and hoping that over the course of the day they consume enough individual bites to meet their daily caloric needs.

4. Parents work in shifts, and this is why every child should have at least two parents of whatever gender combination works. Very rarely were they together with the child, which makes perfect and total sense. If you share equal responsibility with someone for something that screams constantly, wouldn't you split up that responsibility as much as possible, even if it means that you rarely see the person you had chosen to spend your life with? It was actually a petty interesting dynamic to watch.

5. Silence is golden, beautiful and something to be treasured and nurtured. We should relish in our silences and the ability to maintain them. This is something that parents only get between the hours of 10pm, when the screaming finally stops, and 4am, when the screaming starts again.

6. I am fine with children in small doses, however this has cemented my decision that parenting is definetly NOT a path I want to take in my life. If you feel you must have any children, you should seriously sit down and realize that children are small and helpless beings that can only communicate via screaming at the top of their lungs for at least 2 years straight. To be honest, I think that might be the easy part. As far as I can tell, you do not get vacations from your children, you do not get to take a break and go home at the end of the day and you will get the stink eye if you continue to live your life as a non-parent with the kids in tow (seriously, they do not belong in bars, porn stores or concerts). They are yours and it will be your responsibility to raise them. If you feel like other people will, or should, watch your child in public, you are seriously deficent in the skills and desire to raise a child to be a productive and cooperative member of society. If you think that frozen, premade peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are a great idea because you simply do not have the time, energy or desire to apply peanut butter and jelly to bread, you should not be a parent. If you don't feel like you can deal with something that requires a constant 24-7 commitment for several years at least, then it's a pretty good bet that you should not have children of your own.

Bah is dead. Long live Bah!

13 years ago I "rescued" Bait, a pair of goldfish, from a tank left behind by a departed roommate. They were originally bought as feeder fish for a pet snake of his. Anyway, within a couple years It had passed away, and Ba gained an "h" for some unknown reason. Bah was very pampered, moving from a 5 to 10 gallons, and finally enthroned in a palatial 13 gallon bowl given to us by Rick. He'd been with me through roommates, boyfriends, moves nearing the double digits and stuck around for several atrocious tank decorating schemes. About 5 years ago air bubbles developed in his eye, and he lost it, but suffered no other ill health.
Some may doubt such a thing as a friendly and personable fish exists, I know now that they are wrong. He seemed to take special pleasure in his last spot near the sofa in our living room. He'd hang out most often on the side of his tank where people would sit and chase their fingers, sometimes spitting rocks at the side of the tank to get someone's attention. When I put my finger in his tank he'd often times come and give it a nibble. Anyway after a very long life, he passed away today and was buried in the back yard.

Long live Bah!

I feel cheap.

I've done it. I've jumped on the bandwagon. See more of my frightening visage at MySpace.
Ahhhh...the welcoming embrace of the friendly hive where people will actually publicly admit to being my friend.

It's fun to pick movies for movie night. Tonight we watched Space is the Place featuring Sun Ra and his Intergallactic Solar Arkestra. Now, I don't think I could sit through an entire Sun Ra recording, or concert, but that's just because I have strong feelings about saxaphones. ( Seriously, they serve no useful musical purpose any longer.) But, I do enjoy his fascinating view of the world, and to see it put forth in the cinematic medium...well, that's just good. Made in 1974, on a very small budget, it tells a tale of good vs. evil in the form of Sun Ra and the Overseer playing a game (or reading tarot cards) for the future of the earth. Of course, Mr. Ra and his crew had amazing costumes. There were some great lines, but the story line was kind of hard to follow. It was made by a man with a vision, and I belive they stuck to that vision as best they could in 1974 for whatever money was available.


Last week we saw Sins of the Fleshopoids. What a bizarre tale! From what I could glean, humans have made things such that they can laze about all day staring into mirrors, eating plastic fruit and other decadent pursuits. They've engineered robots to take care of all menial tasks, and work related things. Everything is going fine until the robots begin to feel towards eachother, and are caught in a lustful embrace by a human, who may or may not be a dictator or religious leader. Thus is the sin of the fleshopoids, I guess. The sets were very creative, and the costumes fit oddly. It was a silent movie, with random text bubbles emiting from various non-oral body parts.


Well, that's that...oh yeah, and Tucker Carlson is a total knob.

Russell the Love Muscle

I have to post this, because I am so proud that I got to meet the ONLY politician I have any respect for at all, with a couple drinks under my belt, without doing anything embarrassing. I didn't hump his leg, make him sign my boobs or nothing.

Senator Russ Feingold, you are great. You make me proud to be from Wisconsin, and you are one of the main reasons that Wisconsin is better than any other state (our love of debauchery is another). You work to protect the real version of America, the one that spawned true balls-out rock by people with brains, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor, Yippies and Beatniks. The America where a person isn't owned by a corporation, and a corporation doesn't have the same rights as a person. The America where folks can pretty much do what they want, when they want...as long as they aren't harming anyone else (who can live outside a womb). The America that other folks look up to because we genuinely want to help others and make things better for everyone. An America where we aren't a bunch of christian fanatic maniacs who want to shove our morality up everyone's asses without even being kind enough to spit on it first. An America where the President and the rest of our glorious leaders are responsible for their actions, and is answerable to the people. You make me want to fly the American flag. Thank you for persisting, thank you for keeping the spine you were born with, and thank you for standing up to EVERYONE ELSE (yeah, the rest of you democrats can suck it...hard...until I am fully satisfied...and then you can go crawl back into whatever hole spawned you) to protect and defend OUR Constitution. Thank you.


Would you like this man to be our next President? He's the best there is, so click here and find out more.

What happened to our fantastic future?

First, never check out a DVD from the library if you are planning on actually watching it. If you need a shiny drink coaster, fine. If you want to watch it, don't bother. It will not play all the way through. At least that's been my experience.

Last night I almost experienced the film, 2001, in its entirety. I've never made it past the monkeys before last night, but with the help of my understanding boyfriend, we made it an hour in...before the library DVD became totally unwatchable due to skips and stalls. From what I understand (yes I could research, but I'm lazy) this film was made in 1968, and I'm guessing Kubrik was hoping that things in the year 2001 would actually be like the film. Wow. Not. Fucking. Close.

What ever happened to actually looking forward to the future? Nearly everyone I know is filled with a constant sense of dread and unease about what is going to happen next. Maybe it's just the current administration, but I don't think so. I think it's more likely the result of the demonization of the future in the popular culture. Where there is no more GLORIOUS FUTURE WORLD OF TOMORROW (GFWOT), regular folks don't have anything to look forward to or strive toward. From the space shows I've seen recently, there are no new inventions, no newer better developments, people don't treat eachother any better. Instead things are a complete polluted, distopic, rude, horrible, overpopulated hell on a dessicated earth. Now, if that's the only vision of the future you get to see, why the hell would you want to look forward to it?

Okay, well...that's about all I can say about that now. I have no more attention for tapping on this monkey board.

I am allowed one celebrity

My boyfriend and I have an understanding. If you have the chance to have sex with your "One Celebrity Lay" (OCL), you get to without guilt or getting any hassle from the other. His is Kim Deal. I'm more fickle or slutty. In the past I've had on my list: The Rock, Jason Schwartzman, Vin Diesel, Johnny Depp, Jack Black, Brad Pitt (what was I thinking?!), Jack White(master of the 3rd White Stripe)...however, they are all dead to me now. My new OCL forever is....
Mr. Demetri Martin.

Sir, I want to make sweet love to you, in whatever way you find pleasing, for one night, or however long you feel like it. I'm not a very attractive woman when covered in blood, but clean me off and I'm fairly adequate. Due to the nature of my work, I have access to a wide variety of condoms and sensual lubricants, so that shouldn't be a worry. Thank you.

If you want to race the devil...

you'd better be fast as hell!
That's the tagline from this Monday's fabulous selection, Race With The Devil, starring Peter Fonda, Warren Oates, Loretta Swit and Lara Parker. First, lets start with my critique of each individual lead in this movie..
Peter Fonda? High as a lord.
Warren Oates? Drunk, but can act sober at times.
Loretta Swit? She called this one in, seriously, she couldn't have ACTED more bored, and was seemingly disgusted by Warren, who played her husband.
Lara Parker? Brilliant, as soon as things got freaky, she was completely in her element, she wasn't just ACTING afraid, she WAS terrified!

We started into the film expecting to barely be entertained by it, and were busily entertaining our selves with snarky comments when it surprisingly became an engaging and creepy thriller involving Satanists stalking the RV-ers who witnessed and reported their murderous ritual. The director did a great job building the suspicion and fear with barely any gore and without much direct interaction between the pursued, and the pursuers...or is there?? That's the mystery really, who should these people trust in this strange part of Texas? For most folks, the highlight of the film would have to involve the (at least) 20 minute RV chase at the end, which was indeed spectacular. My personal highlight is when Lara (playing P.Fonda's wife), is swimming at the pool in the RV park, and comes to the realization that perhaps things at the RV park aren't as safe as they seem. Definetly an underrated movie that certian horror directors should really learn a lesson from. You don't need gallons of blood, gore and graphic depictions of human torture to make a truely scary movie...you need to be clever enough to be able to create an atmosphere of creepyness, where everything is just wrong enough.