You know what I hate most about republicans and christians?

They never fucking stop whining. Wahhh waaaaahhh waaah! Gays exist!! Rap has swears!!! Christian Jesusford can't pray in school!!! Evolution scares me!!! Terrorists ate my baby!!!!!!! THEY have ALL the FUCKING POWER. They control the presidency, the congress, the senate, the judicial branch AND the media and they still have the balls to lie there like clubbed seals and look up at us with their big brown eyes and say "Why...why you gotta hate like that? Why you gotta ruin everything???? WHY???" and I just want to grab it by the neck and shake it and say. "shut up...Shut Up...SHUTUP YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING YOU DON"T GET TO COMPLAIN!!! PUT ON YOUR FUCKING BROWN SHIRT AND JACK BOOTS AND JUST BE THE FUCKING NAZI YOU REALLY WANT TO BE!!!" because when you have all the fucking power, you are supposed to at least have THE FUCKING BALLS TO LET PEOPLE KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY ARE. Don't hide it behind mom, apple pie, ponies, babies and fuzzy sweaters...don't go fucking around with stuff that benefits even your hateful asses, like science...don't pretend you like brown people, gays, women, small business people, the poor, bicyclers, people who listen to music, books or free thinkers to keep them deluded into thinking you are a rational and caring human....just externalize your inner nazi in whatever way you see fit. Then, maybe, just maybe, people would put down their ipods, cell phones, big sequined purses, fashonably small dogs, credit cards and whatever bullshit is keeping them from rioting in the streets, and actually get up and riot in the fucking streets for the real fucking America that makes cool shit, helps, and lets its own people do pretty much what they want as long as they're not hurting others.

I am away

I am away right now, "enjoying" summer. Lots of fun, lots of bleah...
Fun?
Cabin mania '06. I'm pretty much the mistress of the fire.
Flaming Lips and Primus pretty much playing just for me and Rickster outdoors.
WEEEEN! (lets hope "sobriety" is going well for Gene)
Las Vegas is my own personal Mecca, now I get to visit it for...
URSULAS WEDDING! Damn. She's almost all growed up.

Bleah?
Heat.
Humidity.
Packing.
Heat.
Humidity.
Moving.
Heat.
Humidity.
Oh, and did I mention the heat? Because it fucking sucks balls here, and not in a good way.

Well, back to moving, heat and humidity.

Bad Sister takes over the Leopard Print Lounge

I can't trash the place, she made me leave a deposit...if you know what I mean. HAR HAR! Anyway, I am subbing again for the lovely Ms. Jenni for some hot, leopard action!
Cursing, drinking, swearing, smoking, cussing, playing pool, bad language and stickin' it to The Man! Gosh, I love the 11pm till 2am slot.

Killer Pussy - Pocket Pool - Valley Girl soundtrack
Petra Haden - Maryanne With The Shaky Hand - Sings: The Who Sell Out
Screaming Cyn Cyn and the Pons - Lonely Creepy - Babysit
Peaches - Rock The Shocker - Impeach My Bush
Wet Spots - Kinky Neighbors - Ribbed for Pleasure
Tom Heinl - Half Day Vacation - With or Without Me
The Neil Pollack Invasion - Memories of Times Square (the dildo song) - Never Mind The Pollacks
Evolution Control Committe - Parts 4 & 5 - Ritalin Ruckus
Lovecraft Technologies - Larceny - S/T
The Kinks - Yes Sir, No Sir - Authur or The Decline and Fall of the British Empire
Pulp - Sorted for E's and Wizz - Different Class
Faghat - Faghat Land - The Future is Coming
Shaw - Sluts On Parade - Under The Radar: Vol. 1
Beatallica - ...And Justice For All My Lovin' - S/T
Lenny Bruce - Blah Blah Blah - To Is a Preposition; Come Is A Verb
Lenny Bruce - Would You Sell Out Your Country? - To Is A Preposition; Come Is A Verb
Aniv De La Rev - El Dishwashero - The Lost Months
Ween - THe Grobe - White Pepper
Sleater-Kinney - Let's Call It Love - The Woods
Sonic Youth - Rats - Rather Ripped
Spinal Tap - Hell Hole - S/T
King Missile - Jesus Was Way Cool (live) - My Heart Is A Flower (single)
King Missile III - America Kicks Ass - Royal Lunch
Subtle - The Long Vein Of The Law - A New White
Peeping Tom - Don't Even Trip - S/T
Yohimbe Brothers - Transmission XXX - Front End Lifter
Girl Talk - Bang This In The Club - Unstoppable
The Fall - What About Us? - Fall Heads Roll
Peelander-Z - Detroit Rock City - P-Bone Steak
Eagles of Death Metal - Chase The Devil - Death By Sexy
Coachwhips - You Gonna Get It - Bangers Vs. Fuckers
MC5 - I Just Don't Know - Turds On A Bum Ride: Vol. 1
Lovely Feathers - In The Valley - Hind Hind Legs
!!! - Pardon My Freedom -Louden Up Now
Puffy Ami Yumi - Go Baby Power Now - Splurge
Little Ritchie Ray - Hummp-a-baby - A Dirty Shame sntrk.
The Loafers - Crazy Talk - The Complete, Insane, Madness Invasion
Porest - Skin Bitch - Prude Juice For The Heritage Swinger
Porest - Fist Dumplings - Prude Juice For The Heritage Swinger
TV On The Radio - Bomb Yourself - Desperate Youth, Bloodthirsty Babes
Butthole Surfers - Hey - PCPPEP
Math - Elrod's Babydoll Mambo - Basic
Alien Sex Fiend - 30 Second Coma - Acid Bath

Children, they are not fun

I have not blogged here in a looooong while, obviously. I did just get back from a glorious week long vacation, well actually a glorious 4 day long vacation. The first 3 days involved a 2 year old child, which was not so glorious, relaxing or fun. Honest.

Here are some things I learned about 2 year old children and parenting. Amazingly enough, none involve relaxation.
1. A two year old has one reaction. It involves screaming. Happy? Screaming. Milk the wrong temp? Screaming. Hungry? Screaming. Dirty diaper? Screaming. Wanna play? Screaming. Seriously, I do not know how the parents figured out what the kid wanted, but whenever the tone of the screaming changed, they'd go through a list of questions, and I guess would determine the solution to problem by a subtle shift in the tone of their child's screams.

2. Two seems to be pretty much the age when parents give up. I think it's because of the screaming. I remember right around when the child was born, the parents were very conscious...no TV, ever, it will stunt the child's mind. No sugar or processed foods, it will destroy the child's health. A million outfits, we'll have a clean child. During the 3 days we were together, the child had several videos to watch, which he'd seen so many times he could pretty much scream right along with them. He ate 3 full sized hershey's bars, or at least some part of them, which helped with the screaming. However, he was allowed to wear many dirty and wet outfits, which should be the norm on all vacations, I do not begrudge his parents that.

3. Having children is wasteful. They will not finish the food they are given, they'll get distracted, full or start screaming about it. You will probably have to throw it away because they will have finger-banged it to death, thrown it on the floor or smeared it on something or someone, themselves included. I do not know how a child consumes enough to grow, but from what I've seen it involves constantly encouraging the child to eat a bite, and hoping that over the course of the day they consume enough individual bites to meet their daily caloric needs.

4. Parents work in shifts, and this is why every child should have at least two parents of whatever gender combination works. Very rarely were they together with the child, which makes perfect and total sense. If you share equal responsibility with someone for something that screams constantly, wouldn't you split up that responsibility as much as possible, even if it means that you rarely see the person you had chosen to spend your life with? It was actually a petty interesting dynamic to watch.

5. Silence is golden, beautiful and something to be treasured and nurtured. We should relish in our silences and the ability to maintain them. This is something that parents only get between the hours of 10pm, when the screaming finally stops, and 4am, when the screaming starts again.

6. I am fine with children in small doses, however this has cemented my decision that parenting is definetly NOT a path I want to take in my life. If you feel you must have any children, you should seriously sit down and realize that children are small and helpless beings that can only communicate via screaming at the top of their lungs for at least 2 years straight. To be honest, I think that might be the easy part. As far as I can tell, you do not get vacations from your children, you do not get to take a break and go home at the end of the day and you will get the stink eye if you continue to live your life as a non-parent with the kids in tow (seriously, they do not belong in bars, porn stores or concerts). They are yours and it will be your responsibility to raise them. If you feel like other people will, or should, watch your child in public, you are seriously deficent in the skills and desire to raise a child to be a productive and cooperative member of society. If you think that frozen, premade peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are a great idea because you simply do not have the time, energy or desire to apply peanut butter and jelly to bread, you should not be a parent. If you don't feel like you can deal with something that requires a constant 24-7 commitment for several years at least, then it's a pretty good bet that you should not have children of your own.

Bah is dead. Long live Bah!

13 years ago I "rescued" Bait, a pair of goldfish, from a tank left behind by a departed roommate. They were originally bought as feeder fish for a pet snake of his. Anyway, within a couple years It had passed away, and Ba gained an "h" for some unknown reason. Bah was very pampered, moving from a 5 to 10 gallons, and finally enthroned in a palatial 13 gallon bowl given to us by Rick. He'd been with me through roommates, boyfriends, moves nearing the double digits and stuck around for several atrocious tank decorating schemes. About 5 years ago air bubbles developed in his eye, and he lost it, but suffered no other ill health.
Some may doubt such a thing as a friendly and personable fish exists, I know now that they are wrong. He seemed to take special pleasure in his last spot near the sofa in our living room. He'd hang out most often on the side of his tank where people would sit and chase their fingers, sometimes spitting rocks at the side of the tank to get someone's attention. When I put my finger in his tank he'd often times come and give it a nibble. Anyway after a very long life, he passed away today and was buried in the back yard.

Long live Bah!

I feel cheap.

I've done it. I've jumped on the bandwagon. See more of my frightening visage at MySpace.
Ahhhh...the welcoming embrace of the friendly hive where people will actually publicly admit to being my friend.

It's fun to pick movies for movie night. Tonight we watched Space is the Place featuring Sun Ra and his Intergallactic Solar Arkestra. Now, I don't think I could sit through an entire Sun Ra recording, or concert, but that's just because I have strong feelings about saxaphones. ( Seriously, they serve no useful musical purpose any longer.) But, I do enjoy his fascinating view of the world, and to see it put forth in the cinematic medium...well, that's just good. Made in 1974, on a very small budget, it tells a tale of good vs. evil in the form of Sun Ra and the Overseer playing a game (or reading tarot cards) for the future of the earth. Of course, Mr. Ra and his crew had amazing costumes. There were some great lines, but the story line was kind of hard to follow. It was made by a man with a vision, and I belive they stuck to that vision as best they could in 1974 for whatever money was available.


Last week we saw Sins of the Fleshopoids. What a bizarre tale! From what I could glean, humans have made things such that they can laze about all day staring into mirrors, eating plastic fruit and other decadent pursuits. They've engineered robots to take care of all menial tasks, and work related things. Everything is going fine until the robots begin to feel towards eachother, and are caught in a lustful embrace by a human, who may or may not be a dictator or religious leader. Thus is the sin of the fleshopoids, I guess. The sets were very creative, and the costumes fit oddly. It was a silent movie, with random text bubbles emiting from various non-oral body parts.


Well, that's that...oh yeah, and Tucker Carlson is a total knob.

Russell the Love Muscle

I have to post this, because I am so proud that I got to meet the ONLY politician I have any respect for at all, with a couple drinks under my belt, without doing anything embarrassing. I didn't hump his leg, make him sign my boobs or nothing.

Senator Russ Feingold, you are great. You make me proud to be from Wisconsin, and you are one of the main reasons that Wisconsin is better than any other state (our love of debauchery is another). You work to protect the real version of America, the one that spawned true balls-out rock by people with brains, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor, Yippies and Beatniks. The America where a person isn't owned by a corporation, and a corporation doesn't have the same rights as a person. The America where folks can pretty much do what they want, when they want...as long as they aren't harming anyone else (who can live outside a womb). The America that other folks look up to because we genuinely want to help others and make things better for everyone. An America where we aren't a bunch of christian fanatic maniacs who want to shove our morality up everyone's asses without even being kind enough to spit on it first. An America where the President and the rest of our glorious leaders are responsible for their actions, and is answerable to the people. You make me want to fly the American flag. Thank you for persisting, thank you for keeping the spine you were born with, and thank you for standing up to EVERYONE ELSE (yeah, the rest of you democrats can suck it...hard...until I am fully satisfied...and then you can go crawl back into whatever hole spawned you) to protect and defend OUR Constitution. Thank you.


Would you like this man to be our next President? He's the best there is, so click here and find out more.

What happened to our fantastic future?

First, never check out a DVD from the library if you are planning on actually watching it. If you need a shiny drink coaster, fine. If you want to watch it, don't bother. It will not play all the way through. At least that's been my experience.

Last night I almost experienced the film, 2001, in its entirety. I've never made it past the monkeys before last night, but with the help of my understanding boyfriend, we made it an hour in...before the library DVD became totally unwatchable due to skips and stalls. From what I understand (yes I could research, but I'm lazy) this film was made in 1968, and I'm guessing Kubrik was hoping that things in the year 2001 would actually be like the film. Wow. Not. Fucking. Close.

What ever happened to actually looking forward to the future? Nearly everyone I know is filled with a constant sense of dread and unease about what is going to happen next. Maybe it's just the current administration, but I don't think so. I think it's more likely the result of the demonization of the future in the popular culture. Where there is no more GLORIOUS FUTURE WORLD OF TOMORROW (GFWOT), regular folks don't have anything to look forward to or strive toward. From the space shows I've seen recently, there are no new inventions, no newer better developments, people don't treat eachother any better. Instead things are a complete polluted, distopic, rude, horrible, overpopulated hell on a dessicated earth. Now, if that's the only vision of the future you get to see, why the hell would you want to look forward to it?

Okay, well...that's about all I can say about that now. I have no more attention for tapping on this monkey board.

I am allowed one celebrity

My boyfriend and I have an understanding. If you have the chance to have sex with your "One Celebrity Lay" (OCL), you get to without guilt or getting any hassle from the other. His is Kim Deal. I'm more fickle or slutty. In the past I've had on my list: The Rock, Jason Schwartzman, Vin Diesel, Johnny Depp, Jack Black, Brad Pitt (what was I thinking?!), Jack White(master of the 3rd White Stripe)...however, they are all dead to me now. My new OCL forever is....
Mr. Demetri Martin.

Sir, I want to make sweet love to you, in whatever way you find pleasing, for one night, or however long you feel like it. I'm not a very attractive woman when covered in blood, but clean me off and I'm fairly adequate. Due to the nature of my work, I have access to a wide variety of condoms and sensual lubricants, so that shouldn't be a worry. Thank you.

If you want to race the devil...

you'd better be fast as hell!
That's the tagline from this Monday's fabulous selection, Race With The Devil, starring Peter Fonda, Warren Oates, Loretta Swit and Lara Parker. First, lets start with my critique of each individual lead in this movie..
Peter Fonda? High as a lord.
Warren Oates? Drunk, but can act sober at times.
Loretta Swit? She called this one in, seriously, she couldn't have ACTED more bored, and was seemingly disgusted by Warren, who played her husband.
Lara Parker? Brilliant, as soon as things got freaky, she was completely in her element, she wasn't just ACTING afraid, she WAS terrified!

We started into the film expecting to barely be entertained by it, and were busily entertaining our selves with snarky comments when it surprisingly became an engaging and creepy thriller involving Satanists stalking the RV-ers who witnessed and reported their murderous ritual. The director did a great job building the suspicion and fear with barely any gore and without much direct interaction between the pursued, and the pursuers...or is there?? That's the mystery really, who should these people trust in this strange part of Texas? For most folks, the highlight of the film would have to involve the (at least) 20 minute RV chase at the end, which was indeed spectacular. My personal highlight is when Lara (playing P.Fonda's wife), is swimming at the pool in the RV park, and comes to the realization that perhaps things at the RV park aren't as safe as they seem. Definetly an underrated movie that certian horror directors should really learn a lesson from. You don't need gallons of blood, gore and graphic depictions of human torture to make a truely scary movie...you need to be clever enough to be able to create an atmosphere of creepyness, where everything is just wrong enough.

Fill, the alien

We saw an surprising selection for movie night on Monday. Phil The Alien, kind of like if Ween made a drunken alien/messiah movie set in the nor't woods of Canada with Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Seriously! What a bizarre performance R. Stefaniauk delivered as the alien. Chewing booze and sets, he's really the number one reason to see this film. The music is almost as good as anything Matt and Trey have in their flims, though with less profanity. If you like strange films, made by people who HAVE to make them, then this is indeed something for you.

Right now I'm prevuing CD's for show tonight. Because I'm lame, I'm actually looking forward to the cab ride to WORT, because The Man says, all travel is supposed to be limited to "essential" travel due to the snow...and I say FUCK THE MAN! Mmmmm...I'm taking a cab to deliver ENTERTAINMENT for my own personal enjoyment!!! I can't imagine a less essential reason to go out. Anyway, back to the CD's and what I think of them.

The Mummies - Here Come The Mummies
No, not the 60's style garage rockers who dress as mummies, but the 70's style party funkers made up of members of Parlement. At least that's what folks say. I checked their website and there was no mention of Parlement or their real names. They do have funk, just not as much as I'd expect from Actual Members of Parlement. It is fun, and happy good time party music, so what am I complaining about? They kind of remind me of Fishbone mixed with Mr. Bungle.

Geo. Clinton & The P-Funk Allstars - How Late D U Have 2BB4UR Absent?
Didn't listen to all these songs, but there are some good selections. I like the Pfunk crew most when they're totally freaking AND rocking out. Thusly, I skipped the slow selections, AND focused on the songs that seemed to be mostly about drugs. Those were good, not too many swears (good for a radio show), and an awesome rendition of Goodnight Sweetheart Goodnight - which reminds me that I should play some TV on the Radio.

All-Body Band - Slammin'
Okay, this isn't really my thing. Bobby McFerrin killed me for body based music. I mean, I understand there is some skill and talent necessicary to do that, and I know I don't have that. Plus, it's too slow and jazzy without not enough messed up beat boxing. I can almost deal with it without screaming "turn it off! I won't be happy!!! You can't make me stop worrying!!!" when they're just making noises in a musical fashion, but the ladies don't really need to sing. I don't like it when ladies sing for some reason.

Penuckle - The Sun Beckons...
This is pretty decent politically aware hip hop. Unfortunately, there is alot of uncensored swearing making it almost impossible to play on the air. Fuck you FCC... Fuck. You. Anyway, clever raps and good stories with a pretty laid-back flow. Ugh...I'm tired of looking at a screen, it's a snow day damnit!!
SNOW DAY!!!

You see, I slack.

It's like religion must be. Slack, that is.

Remember: these are some of your favorite albums of 2005
I'll add links when someone makes it easy to do on a Mac damnit.
Sleater Kinney - The Woods
Gogol Bordello - Underdog World Strike
Negativland - No Business
Dirtbombs - If You Don't Already Have A Look
Messer Chups - Crazy Price
The Fall- Heads Roll
Screamin Cyn Cyn and the Pons - Babysit
White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan
Of Montreal - The Sunlandic Twins
Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have Had It So Much Better
Go! Team - Thunder Lightening Strike
M.I.A. - Arular
Raveonettes - Pretty In Black
Super Furry Animals - Love Kraft
Amadou and Miriam - Dimanche A Bamako
Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings - Naturally
Kanye West - Late Registration
Fanny Pack - See You Next Tuesday
Brian Eno - Another Day On Earth

Gee whiz...that's about enough now.